Thoughts: Hannah's Blog

I don’t know if it is because I’m an introvert, I’ve always cherished spending time alone. My earliest memories of spending time in solitude was during my school days. I used to stay at my grand parent’s place. Their house had a terrace, I used to go there and walk around. I especially liked my night walks, I was not afraid of the darkness, in fact I welcomed it. Just admiring the moon and the stars. No one around, just me and my thoughts.

Solitude became hard to find once I moved to hostel during my college. 5 girls in one small room. 5 beds, 5 tables and chairs, some racks to keep books and stuff, we barely had space to walk to our beds. Forget about finding time to be alone!

Fast forward a bit, to the time when I joined my internship. I stayed in a PG (a glorified hostel, with a bit more freedom) We were around 3 people in a room, each of us worked for different companies. I used to leave office at 7 and hope and pray that I be the first to reach, so that I had some time alone. And when I’m rewarded with such rare occurrence , I would do a little dance as I open the door and walk into the empty room.

After marriage and a kid, it became rarer still but there were some defining moments of peace and quiet, that still stays in my mind years later.

One was when we’d gone for a vacation and we were staying in a homestay surrounded by fields and barren land dotted with trees here and there. We had ventured out on a guided tour to visit a nearby water area. We parked the vehicle and we had to walk towards a little hilly area around the corner.

As everyone walked in front of me, I was the last to tag along. I stopped for a moment, to look back, no human in sight, fields and lands as far as the eye can see. The smell of tall fresh grass, the gentle breeze softly swaying it, the sound of rushing waters with increasing intensity. I felt like I was the only one in the whole wide world. I enjoyed a true moment of solitude and peace.

Another moment was we’d been staying in a resort and attended my sister’s engagement ceremony. The ceremony had been done the previous evening, this morning we were planning to visit her in laws then leave back to home by car. We’d gotten up late and had breakfast. While returning back to our rooms (a short way away from the breakfast place) I found myself walking last in the group. The others had gone ahead and entered the building. I decided to stay back for a moment to look at the vista before me.

Though surrounded by buildings, I found myself all alone when I looked around everywhere my eyes could see. Even amidst my chaotic mind, I found a stillness. I looked around at the palm trees that lined the walls, the well cut green grass, the winding pathway, the sounds of the squirrels chattering back and forth. An occasional cuckoo call at the back. It was my moment of peace.

And even now, years later, when I think back to that moment, I could still remember exactly how I felt. These memories are now imprinted deeply in my soul.

This morning, as I got into the cab with no other passengers and sped through the traffic less road (since it is a Friday and we started really early) and I walked in the office space where no other employee had come in yet.

As I took each step inside, one by one the lights in front of me started lighting up the way. (thanks to the motion detecting lights giving me cinematic effects!) I looked around and found myself truly alone once more. A smile lighting up my face and a thrill brightening up my day. I took a pause to breathe.

I’m thankful to God for these moments of solitude that I could enjoy from time to time. For these good memories to cherish and a life to enjoy. For these moments of stillness and peace.

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. – Jesus