Thoughts: Hannah's Blog

Dear Bride-to-Be,

The moment has finally arrived. After years of waiting for “the One” to walk into your life, it really did happen and how time has flown so fast! Let me start with saying “Congrats!” and I’m thankful to God for being faithful to His promises in your life. You’ve already heard part – I of this note. So directly diving into part 2, specially written for you. Marriage is hard work. You might have observed this from parents or friends’ lives. So all these years you have waited is not a waste. God was indeed preparing you for what awaits you. Now don’t be scared. God’s with you, He’s got this. As long as you know in whose hands you are, that’s all that matters. He will guide you every step of the way.

Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. – Psalm 127:1

By now, you would know that it was God who brought you both together and unless he builds the house, we build in vain. So laying out this note into the acronym B-U-I-L-D.

B: Base – Foundation

As followers of Christ, our life should be based on Jesus Christ, He is our foundation, our Cornerstone. If we build our marriage on any other foundation, it is sure to fail. He is the Rock on whom we stand. Jesus explains this in the parable of the wise and foolish builder.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. Matt 7:24,25

The rains will come, streams will rise and the winds will blow and beat, but if you are founded on the Rock and hear his words and put it into practice, then you will not fall.

U & I  

‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:5,6.

Now that you both will be united together into one, you are no longer two but one. Your definition of family would be now – you and your spouse. What does it mean when it says a man will leave his father and mother? Does it mean he has to severe ties with his parents? No. Interestingly, it talks about the man leaving his father and mother but usually it is the woman who leaves her father and mother and goes to her husband’s house (in the context of Indian families) This would need further study: “for this reason” which reason? Let’s go back to Genesis, where this verse first appeared. After God created Eve: (Genesis 2:23,24)

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

After man recognises the fact that the woman he is being united to is – the bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh; that she is a part of him. That is when the leaving and cleaving happens. Interestingly, Adam and Eve both didn’t have parents. It is a mystery to me! There may be various explanations and commentaries on this verse, but the way in which God brings about two people together is indeed a mystery.

L : Love

Love is the binding force in any relationship. To me, love is not a feeling because feelings might change with time and situations but love is a choice we make everyday, to honour the commitment we made in God’s presence. Jesus summarised all of God’s commands into two: Love the Lord your God and love your neighbour. Marriage is the place where we learn to love our “neighbour” and sometimes discover how hard it is to love! Love is listed first in the fruits of the Spirit. May you learn to love, in and through this marital relationship that you are about to enter into.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. – 1 Corinthians 13:13

D: Defend

As already forewarned: The rains will come, streams will rise and the winds will blow and beat. So we need to defend our marriage against the enemy’s schemes. Family is God’s plan and breaking them is the devil’s plan. So be aware of the little things that could upset your marriage. We are constantly under attack and we need to defend it on our knees. The threat is real and it can come in any form. So be alert.

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. SoS 2:15

Final words: Build a good support system (pillars) – it could be your mentors, well wishers in Christ, it could be people in your fellowship. People whom you can confide in and those who will help build you up and those who wouldn’t hesitate to tell you the truth and help you walk your journey. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

With love and Best wishes,

Hannah