Thoughts: Hannah's Blog

As a young child, once I’m back from school, I used to tell my grandmother about my day. Not all the details, but some highlights on what happened that day. Something interesting or funny or what someone said or did. 

After my grandmother’s passing, I used to tell my grandfather about my day. (I used to stay at my grand parent’s house during my schooling). It became my routine and a part of who I was. 

When I went to college (before cell phones) we used to have a phone booth in hostel. One for local calls and one for STD calls. There used to be a long queue so I used to go once in 2-3 days when it is less crowded and tell my stories to my mom over phone. 

After cell phones arrived (the nostalgic Nokia), I used to call almost everyday and tell her about my day. 

I remember, once my roommate asked me, “I’ve seen you do this daily. Why do you have to tell a whole story to her with all those details? Why do you tell her everything?” I was stumped by that question because, why would I not tell her that. I always felt my stories were interesting to her or maybe it’s a time pass for her. Somehow I felt the need that she should know. 

After joining job, it would be once in 2 or 3 days when I have stuff to say. Maybe I went somewhere, visited some place or went shopping or bought something. Had stress at work or had to face some conflict. To vent. To polambify. (It’s a Tanglish word [Tamil + English] that means to complain or grumble)

I think having people to “Polambify to” is a blessing. People who listen without judgement, who are patient and willing to lend an ear, and to spend their time on you. (I believe ChatGPT does that now for most of us.)

A decade or so ago, I started journaling. It is a diary of sorts, (where I tell my stories now). It is evolving along with me. The content I put inside varies depending upon my mood. There were times I recounted the days’ events, sometimes I wrote down my plans, to-do’s: be it work related tasks or personal. At rare times I write about my learnings in life, deep thoughts, my feelings or emotions, my perception of things, some significant or poignant events or observations. Some narration of life events in essay writing or story telling format. Sometimes it is in a single page, other times it runs for pages. 

Recently I have started adding stickers and/or mini drawings in my journal pages. At times I practise lettering (though I do have a separate notebook for that) I jot down verses or quotes that speak to me. I add a cover page(like a scrapbook – collection of stickers or printed papers, usually layered on top of one another) every month so as to divide my writings. If the notebook is big, I use the same notebook for several months. If it is small I finish one notebook in a month! (That’s how much I write) So I keep searching for and investing in good pens – fountain pens are my favourite. I try different coloured inks – black is my favourite.

So where am I going with all this? Ah yes. Story telling. I have always liked doing that. I used to read fiction a lot, so I used to tell the stories I read, to my friends in hostel. I used to try my level best to keep up the suspense, if it is a thrilling story. 

So me being the story teller that I am, I don’t know what story my life says. Over half my life on earth is over.  (Today is my birthday by the way – that inspired me to write this post – Happy birthday to me!) 

I wondered, I pondered and I realised, my life probably says a different story to different people. Because me as a person has evolved and changed so much. My classmates in school will have a different version of it compared to my college mates in UG (Under Graduate) My college mates in PG(Post Graduate) will have an entirely different story altogether (because of a major inner life changing event)

My colleagues in my first company – a very different story compared to my colleagues in my current company. My family members would have seen different versions of me in each chapter of my life. But there are some things that never change – like my temperament(always an introvert), my love for writing and art and craft stuff. (I do change my art interests every now and then but it’s always, all things art or anything creative)

All I hope for is that, people know and remember me for the right reasons and I hope I impact people in a positive way. I strive to be salt and light on this earth. I might have fallen short at times, but I hope I get back up and continue to serve the purpose for which I was created. I want to live my life and live it well. 

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. [NIV]

Teach us to realize how short our lives are. Then our hearts will become wise. [NIRV]

Oh! Teach us to live well! Teach us to live wisely and well! [MSG]

Psalms 90:12 (Same verse in different translations)