Thoughts: Hannah's Blog

People mature and grow wiser with age. We learn a lot from our surroundings and the situation that we get into and those things changes us- shapes and moulds us into who we are right now. Now that I have completed three decades of my life, when I look back – I see that I am not who I was. I have changed – a lot. So much that when I try to picture myself in my under graduate college days, it makes me wonder what a big-mouthed fool I was!

Then the transition happened. As I was waiting for almost a year wondering what to do when my future looked so bleak and blurry, unlike the bright and sunny version I had thought it would be, That’s when I started seeking a personal relationship with Christ and my perspective changed. I had to make a lot of tough decisions and God helped me and guided me through it all. So when I landed in college for my post graduate, I was a totally different person.

God blessed me with a wonderful fellowship, through which I could grow closer to God. But I was far from perfect. I had the Pharisical, legalistic, judgemental attitude which needed to be changed. When I came to do my intership, I got associated with the local church here and learned a lot. I understood my short comings and learned more of grace. But God wasn’t done with me yet.

Then came marriage, motherhood, with each change, came new challenges which revealed more of myself to me. When I look back, I am able to see what sort of person I was and what sort of person I should be. Everytime I see, I feel how I am an ongoing work and eventhough I am far from perfect, I am glad that I am not who I was. I am not yet whom I should be, but I am somewhere in the middle of tranforming into whom he designed me to be!

but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect. – Romans 12:2 GNB

Maybe the reason why I struggle to stay connected with people whom I am associated with long back, good friends even, is because of all the changes I am going through, I am not able to relate to them anymore as we are not constantly in touch. There are a very few – like family and close friends who travel with me, accepting me even as I transition from one phase to the other. I’m grateful to God for placing those people in my life.

Sometimes the change is not a welcome one, I grow worse on certain aspects. But I am thankful to get to know about them, so that I can correct those. But I cannot do it on my own. I take comfort in the fact that God’s not done with me yet and He who began a good work in me, will bring it to completion. He was the one who knit me together in my mother’s womb. He started it there and He is not going to leave me midway. He is going to bring me through every change that I face.

So no matter how difficult the path be – because when you think about it, you can be your worst enemy. You can hinder yourselves from achieving your dreams or walking in the way that God wants you to be. It might be your attitude, your habits, unforgiveness, pride, all this could hinder you from getting ahold of the blessings that are in store for you. So the one thing we can do is follow the words of Paul and PRESS ON!

I don’t mean to say I am perfect. I haven’t learned all I should even yet, but I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ saved me for and wants me to be. No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us. – Philippians 3:12-14 TLB